The goal is not to take flight from authenticity but to make a creative move toward it. Truth telling, like peacemaking, doesn’t just bloom in our midst. Sometimes it has to be plotted and planned, a challenge that runs counter to the powerful urge to simply be our true, wonderful, spontaneous, uncensored selves.
As we learn to better navigate these conversations and silences better, we create opportunities to deepen our understanding of the self, the other, and our relationships. And we can learn when it’s time to give up and get out—that is, to save ourselves—even if we end up losing a relationship.
The Dance of Connection : How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate – Harriet Lerner